Survival • Perseverance

The Many Phases of Success

How I Landed in My Happy Place

Photo by the blowup on Unsplash

I’m a biracial Asian female who grew up as a Third Culture Kid. Success looked different in the many phases of my life. The first phase of success was obeying my parents. My Korean mom drilled obedience into us like a military sergeant. You’d have to ask my parents whether I succeeded in that area. I’m going to guess that they would say no.

Being biracial in American International Schools is a whole different ball game than being biracial in an American public school. Often, I was living in war-torn countries and stress levels were high, so lots of kids of brilliant parents were responding to that stress with over-achieving [raising my hand] to acting out in rebellious ways. I did a little of the latter too, which is why I’m not sure my parents would say that I was the perfect, obedient daughter. During that phase of my life, I was successful at getting good grades.

When my family and I finally migrated to the United States I found that success meant surviving loneliness. I was no longer a straight-A student. I was just trying to fit in, and I was not very successful. I didn’t make friends easily and I barely made it out of high school. If the measure of success was to graduate and be popular, I didn’t succeed.