REFRESH THE SOUL

What Strange and Unusual Thing Are You Afraid to See in the Mirror?

Be Brave and Stare into Love

Created in Canva by Nancy Blackman

For many years, I was afraid to look in the mirror for fear of looking at the “fat girl” my mother professed me to be. I had this idea that I was unusual and strange until one day when I read Henri Nouwen’s “The Life of the Beloved.” (Nouwen, H. J. M. (1992). Life of the beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World. The Crossroad Publishing Company.) It helped me understand how my wall of fear stopped me from seeing the true me.

And, if I can’t see the Love that resides in me, I can’t see the Love in anyone else. This paradox of constantly hiding in shame becomes a strong force that can drive you towards and into many unhealthy things. I lived a good part of my adult life, hiding in crowds, doubting I could do anything of value. Words spoken over me had burrowed deep into my soul that I believed them. That story is at the bottom.

It wasn’t until I began to sit with myself and gently peer into the mirror that I saw something very different. I grew up in a house with a father who encouraged me to use my voice, but a mother who ran behind me creating doubt; I trusted doubt.

As Henri Nouwen says to his friend, “Fred, all I want to say to you is “You are the…